Empowering Your Daughter: 5 Keys to Confidence
Keisha is a confidence coach for girls. She has a for-profit, “Handiwork” and a non-profit “Abundantly Authentic.” Both of which lay the foundations of healthy confidence and what that looks like for our girls. The non-profit “Abundantly Authentic” is faith-based.
We talk about how Abundantly Authentic got started. Keisha describes a time in her life when she was coming out of an unhealthy relationship and wanting to live her life more abundantly.
The following is an overview of our conversation. For the complete interview, you can listen here or on your favorite podcast player.
For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10
“It says in the word that he has prepared us in advance to do good works. I would tell the girls there’s no excuse, whatever the Lord has called you to do, he prepared for you in advance.”
Keisha is a single mom to 3 and runs 2 businesses. We talk about how she is able to do all this. She says, “ it’s only the Lord, that’s the only way that I could explain it.”
“You hear people talk a lot about balancing and for me what balancing looks like is being present. This is what the Lord has shown me: being present with what he’s given you. When I’m with the kids I’m trying to focus on them and give them my undivided attention. When I’m doing [work] I’m going all in.”
Related: How Single Moms Can Find Confidence In Their Relationships
We discuss the 5 keys to confidence for our girls
Showing our girls what healthy confidence is goes beyond the world’s standard. The world shows a surface level of confidence or self-esteem.
Beautiful is a reflection of who we are on the inside. We all have different skills, and talents that we have to offer to the world, and our purpose is attached to service.
“I want our girls to know that it’s not what you look like on the outside, but a reflection of who you are on the inside. And as women, as girls in Christ, we wanna make sure that we are a direct reflection upon the Lord and his people.”
God gives us gifts to use for his purposes and so many of us aren’t using them.
“I tell the girls, imagine your best friend, you bought a perfect gift for her. She’s gonna love this gift, you wrapped it, you give it to her and she just sets it on the table. I would be anxious, like open it, I wanna see your reaction. I think a lot of us, that’s what we’re doing with the gift that God has given us. We’re not using what he’s given us and we just set it on the table.
Related: What Your Kids Need From You After a Divorce
2. Oohh La La
This is about having a good representation not only on the inside but the outside as well. But we don’t want to be obsessive about it, but we do care about the way we look. It’s about reminding girls of the basic foundation of taking care of themselves, which is personal grooming, making sure we’re taking showers and baths, etc.
“When I was in that unhealthy relationship, I was not caring about the way that I look, I wasn’t taking care of myself and valuing myself the way that I should have. And I believe that when you look good, you feel good.”
This is meant to be an action word: to travel or move from one place to another. We are all on a journey. This has two parts: exercising our bodies and the desire to travel outside our norm.
“When we travel, it allows our perspective to change and we get to meet new people, see new things, try new foods, new experiences.”
Related: How to Parent an Introverted Child in an Extrovert’s World
Make sure that we’re being mindful of the things that we’re putting inside of our bodies. Good and healthy friendships
Being good stewards with our money and investing our time.
“We are on a journey and you’re not gonna be perfect, nobody is but we want to make sure that we’re taking care of ourselves in this way to be the most healthiest and confident girl that we can be.”
We talk about what parents can do to help Their daughters with confidence.
“There was one incident where my daughter was staring at herself in the mirror and I was staring at her staring at herself and I asked her, what do you see when you look in there? And she was about seven and she turned and she pointed to me and I was not proud of the woman that she was pointing at. And that’s when I was immediately was reminded by God’s promise that he has come to give us life and give it more abundantly. I was not living the life that he had called me to. So it’s going to start with you as her parent.”
Related: 7 Small Mindset Shifts to Increase Your Confidence in Parenting
We discuss having one-on-ones with our girls (and boys too!) What this looks like and what it doesn’t (expensive or extravagant.) This tells your child that she is important enough for you to make time for her.
For the families where the father is absent, how can we encourage our daughters and help their confidence? Keisha talks about this with experience in her own life with her children.
Last advice from Keisha.
“The most important relationship that you’ll ever have is the one that you have with our Lord and Savior with Jesus Christ. He’ll walk you through the woman, the man, the boy, the young lady that he is calling you to become and then open up doors for you.”
Where to Find Keisha
Keisha’s Books to Build Confidence in Girls
Blue Print to Self Esteem (Young Girl Edition)
Blue Print to Self-Esteem (Middle School Girl Edition)
Blue Print to Self Esteem (Older Girl Edition)