Do you sometimes question your parenting abilities? Do you feel like you’re constantly second-guessing yourself? You’re not alone. All parents have moments where they feel unsure of themselves, but there are some small things you can do to help increase your confidence.
7 mindset shifts that can help build your confidence as a parent
Your child is not a reflection of you
This one may be the hardest one for moms!
As a parent, it is easy to see your child as a reflection of yourself. After all, they are a product of you, and you’re raising them. However, it is important to realize that your child is their own person. They have their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Just because your child may do something you disapprove of doesn’t mean it reflects poorly on you as a parent. It is okay for your child to make mistakes. It is okay for them to be different from you. What matters most is that you love and accept them for who they are.
You are enough (with God)
The mind shift that can have the most dramatic change in your parenting is when you realize that with God, you are enough. Parenting is about doing your best with the resources and knowledge you have. When you trust that God is with you, you can parent with confidence, knowing He will help you meet your child’s needs.
Parenting with God by your side means you have everything you need to be the best parent you can be. By making this shift in mindset, you’ll be able to parent with confidence, knowing that God is with you every step of the way.
You are the expert on your child
This is always the advice I give new mothers: you are the expert on your child. God gave you this child for a reason, be confident in this!
No one knows your child better than you do, and no one is more qualified to make decisions about their care. You are the one who knows from experience how your child acts when hungry, cries when tired, and acts when sick. You know the most about your child. The pediatrician isn’t with your child 24/7 like you have been. The teacher doesn’t have years of history to know the best next step for your child.
This isn’t to say that we should ignore professional’s opinions about our kids. But if something doesn’t feel right, just your mothering intuition.
It’s okay to change your mind
This mindset shift can increase your confidence and make parenting feel more manageable: it’s okay to change your mind. Parenting is an ever-evolving process, and what works for you and your family today may not work tomorrow.
This mindset shift was difficult for me because my son was the type of kid who wouldn’t let me change my mind easily. For example, if we were planning to go to the park and I got a migraine, I wouldn’t be able to take them to the park that day. So what I learned to do is not to promise my kids much. Instead, I would tell them we “might” go to the park tomorrow, but I won’t know for sure until tomorrow. Talking this way helped my son see that not everything everyone says is written in stone and how to be more flexible. It also took a lot of pressure off me.
Together we learned to be open to new possibilities and willing to do what was best for our family in the present moment.
You are not perfect and that’s okay
One of the most essential mindset shifts you can make as a parent is to realize that you are not perfect, and that’s okay. Single parenting is one of the most challenging jobs you’ll ever have, and there is no one right way to do it. You will make mistakes, but that doesn’t mean you are a terrible parent. What matters most is your intention and ability to learn from your mistakes.
When you let go of the need to be perfect, you will find parenting much easier and more enjoyable. You will also be more confident in your parenting decisions because you will know that you are doing the best you can with the information and resources you have. So embrace your imperfections, and your parenting will be better for it.
It’s okay to ask for help
It can be challenging to know when to ask for help. You want to be able to do everything on your own, but sometimes you need assistance. Realizing it’s okay to ask for help is a mindset shift that can increase your confidence in parenting. It shows that you are willing to admit when you need assistance and are not afraid to seek support.
Asking for help also shows that you are confident in your parenting abilities. Finally, it demonstrates that you are capable of parenting with or without help but are willing to accept assistance when it is offered.
You don’t have to do it all on your own
From the never-ending cycle of feedings and changings to the 4 am wake-up calls, it can be easy to feel like you’re in it alone. And while there may be days when it feels like you’re the only one who can do this parenting thing, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to do it all alone.
Yes, you may be a single parent, and you are responsible for your child’s care and well-being. But that doesn’t mean that you have to do everything by yourself. Many people may be willing and able to help you, whether it’s your parents, friends, or even a parenting group or class.
Once we start asking for help (specific help), we are surprised at who is willing to help us.
You can do this. It’s time to start believing in yourself as a parent and making small mindset shifts to increase your confidence. Remember, you are the expert on your own child. Trust your intuition and instincts, and take a deep breath – you got this!