From Heartbreak to Faith: Finding God In the Storm

Divorced, single mom, Jodi Rosser is a podcaster, author, and speaker. Jodi has walked through multiple heartbreaks (divorce, miscarriage, and cancer), and now inspires women to find hope, joy, and purpose through their unexpected storms.

We talk about what it takes to have a deep faith during heartbreaks. Below is an overview of our conversation. For the complete interview, listen to Episode 70 on Grace for Single Parents.

Jodi talks about the heartbreaks she’s walked through and how they lead her to write a book and start her podcast.

How God Uses Our Painful Experiences

I believe that when we walk through heartbreak, God doesn’t waste it. I’ve walked through three really hard heartbreaks. I would say my greatest heartbreaks are my divorce. I walked through a miscarriage between my two boys and a dear friend of mine was diagnosed with pancreatic and then passed away four months later. And so all three of those heartbreaks were just shattering losses to me. But what I realized is through all that pain and all those tears and all the heartbreak that God didn’t waste any of it. And he uses it in a way to help others walking through their own heartbreaks.

My miscarriage was when I realized that God doesn’t waste our pain. I remember a year after a woman ended up having a miscarriage. And I just shared my story with her and it just brought her such encouragement.

That was probably the first time I could see something redeemed. And then with my divorce, I would say that’s where I grew the most. It was probably the most shattering of the three heartbreaks. It affects your family, affects your kids, it affects so much of who you are at your identity. I remember being shattered, I felt broken. I never thought I could take those broken pieces and put it back into something even more beautiful than what I thought it started.

Lessons From Divorce

I always thought I don’t want cracks. I don’t want to be broken. I wanna be perfect. But now I realize God can use me much more when I am broken and share my story.

Jodi shared what she learned during her divorce. Her time and understanding of God grew deeper and her faith grew. “I think that you have to seek God to have that happen. It doesn’t just naturally happen, but when you do, he is so faithful to me in the middle of it.”

I dove into so many books and I thought those books were for my healing and little did I know that they were also for my growing.

Jodi compares growing her faith to the growth of trees: the roots are the time you give to the Lord and His Word. No one sees the roots but we grow through that process.

How we grow during a divorce or similar heartbreak

Don’t wait until you’re in the middle of the heartbreak to grow your roots deep. I think that’s where it happens a lot because that’s when we finally surrender. But I believe that we can have it happen all the time.

I’ve walked through it, I don’t wanna ever go back and become the person I was before.

It did change me and it grew my relationship with my kids deeper. I think emotional literacy was birthed through it. We learned how to deal with our emotions in a better, healthier way than we ever had before. And I see the fruit of that now, there was a lot of blesses in the mess.

The blessings we discover can only happen through heartbreak.

What does it look like to decide to trust God with your pain?

There was a lot of anger. I had to process the anger, but I wanted to process it in a healthy way so I didn’t come out bitter. I think so many times bitterness is what comes from these heartbreaks. I knew that we had a choice: run to God in your pain or run the opposite way away from him and just stay bitter and angry.

I remember that morning after my whole world was shattered and my world fell apart, I journaled, “God, I do not want to become bitter. I want you to use this pain.”

Jodi talks about a sermon she heard months before it applied to her. The sermon was from Rick Warren and gist was, “God doesn’t waste the pain when you run to him, when you seek him in the middle of it.”

When she needed that encouragement, she knew where to turn.

During her worst pain of losing her marriage and becoming a single mom, Jodi describes how she handed everything over to God and how she walked through it. She talks of the raw journaling she did during this time.

I bookend it: my mornings and my nights just seeking God.

Shame and single moms

I remember being so embarrassed that I was divorced. That was not something I wanted for my life.

Satan will use shame to keep us from becoming who God wants us to become. She felt like she was unusable as a result, particularly inside the church.

Part of combating the shame, she told family and friends about her divorce. She was afraid of the responses and being judged, but to her surprise, people were vulnerable back.

When we are vulnerable, this connects us. It breeds connection, not judgment. I realized I don’t wanna live shamed. I don’t wanna live in that shackle of shame. I wanna live by grace.

For someone that’s walking through something that has shame attached to it, as divorce does, don’t lose sight of God’s grace. He can use you. The divorce is not going to stop God from using you. If anything, it’s gonna be the very ingredient he uses for you to help someone else because no one wants to talk to someone that has it all together.

Telling others about the very thing that you feel ashamed about, releases the power of the secret. We talk about finding safe people to share our shameful parts and how having an accountability partner is key and what that relationship looks like.

Last words for single parents

If you’re divorced, there are big chunks of time where you don’t have your kids. Be intentional with the time you do have them and be intentional with the time you don’t have them. What are you doing with that time? Are you investing in yourself? Are you reading books? Are you going to places that fill you up?

It’s easy to find yourself like woe is me. It is hard to have huge times where you’re alone, but God can meet you in that time.

Jodi shares how she looks forward to her weekends with just herself and God and what those weekends look like.

Where to find Jodi

You can also connect with Jodi on Instagram or Facebook @jodi.rosser as well as her Depth Podcast Facebook group. Lastly, Jodi invites you to check out her podcast, Depth where she looks forward to digging deeper each week because Depth Matters!