This is a guest post.
You’re a single Christian mom, ready to find true love and companionship with a godly man whom you are proud to call your future husband. But how do you know, as a single Christian mom, when God leads you to get married again?
Christian single-mom dating comes with its own set of unique challenges and obstacles. But fortunately, the Lord is greater than any of these difficulties! We will cover four critical signs that God is leading you to get married again, all backed with relevant scripture. There are a lot of applicable Bible verses for Christian moms who are trying to figure out when God has brought the right man into their life.
If you’re a Christian single mom, find out if the Lord has a husband in store for you in the near future. He wants to give you the desires of your heart, and he wants you to live an abundant life. This means excellent life for both you and your children. As you follow Him and delight in Him, you’ll soon meet your future spouse!
4 Signs You Are Ready to Find a New Spouse
Sign #1: You Know Where Your Identity Lies
As a single Christian mom, it’s essential to understand the basics of your faith before marrying once again. We’re not saying that you need to know everything there is to know about Christ, the Holy Spirit, and what God’s Word says (people can walk with Christ for a lifetime and still not have all the answers).
But it’s important to understand your identity and where you stand with God regarding your sin. Once you have a grasp on these truths, it makes dealing with the mistakes of your past a much easier process.
If you’ve given your heart to Christ and his Holy Spirit is living inside you, you have been forgiven of all your sins. This includes the sins of your past and any future sins, mistakes, or wrongdoings. Jesus paid for everything when He gave His life over 2,000 years ago on the cross. Following Christ means that you are a child of God. You’re forgiven and set free from your sins, and you now sit with Christ in heavenly places.
Ephesians 2:4-7 says, “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.”
Following Christ means you’re a new creation, and your identity is firmly rooted in Him and being His follower, His child. Your identity is not being a divorcee. Your identity is not being a single mother. Your identity is not even being an overcomer (if you meet the man of your dreams and begin “getting your life together”). No matter what happens, good or bad, your identity is in Christ!
Sign #2: You’ve Forgiven Yourself For Your Past
So you have come to a firm understanding of being wholly forgiven of your sins. You know you’re God’s child. You know you’re precious to Him. And you know that all is forgiven between you and Him because you’ve given your life and heart to Christ. But perhaps you have not forgiven yourself for what’s happened in your past. So dealing with your history and moving on into the future with the joy and confidence only found in Christ is a terrific sign that you’re ready for marriage!
Maybe you haven’t forgiven yourself for giving up on your ex-husband. You haven’t forgiven yourself for getting pregnant outside of marriage. Or perhaps you haven’t forgiven yourself for putting your child through the effects of their parents getting divorced.
These are not unforgivable sins! Though many churches and Christian believers would like to place sins like divorce or premarital sex over “lesser sins” (white lies or a struggle with pride) and into the tier where pornography or substance abuse hang out, the truth of the matter is that there’s no sin that’s worse than another in the Lord’s eyes. Sin is sin.
Psalm 103:12 says, “As far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us.”
Remember, Jesus conquered sin, and you’re set free from ANY sin by believing in him. And your “past” doesn’t define who you are. Remember where your identity lies! When your identity is in Christ, the sins and mistakes of your past no longer have any hold over you.
Sure, there are consequences to our choices (both good and bad). But there is something supernaturally freeing knowing that you’re seated in heavenly places with Christ. You’re free of the false perceptions of yourself, the worldly (or Christian) labels or stigmas that come from being a divorced, single parent, and the chains of refusing to forgive yourself.
1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxieties on Him because he cares for you.”
You may understand what we’ve discussed, but it’s head knowledge. You can see how it works on paper but don’t understand it in your heart. You’re at war within yourself. If you’re still struggling with forgiving yourself, that’s ok! For many, it’s a process to understand where your identity lies and know that you have true freedom from your past and your sins when you believe in Christ.
John 14: 26-27 says, “But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
It never hurts to consult a Christian counselor for additional help if you’re struggling with forgiving yourself. But the best Counselor around is the Holy Spirit! You can talk with Him anytime and seek His help. He could help you overcome being enslaved by your past. The Lord will speak to you through His Spirit and help you realize that you’re seated in heavenly places.
Sign #3: Opportunities Begin Coming Your Way
Christian single moms might know God is calling them back into marriage when opportunities begin to present themselves. If Christian men are interested in dating you or starting a relationship, these might be doors that God is opening that could lead you toward marriage.
Did you know that church is a great place to meet a future spouse? If you’re a single Christian mom and there are single men at your church who love Jesus and would make excellent fathers to your children, this could indicate God’s desire to see you married again. He knows the desires of your heart. He wants you to live an abundant life here on Earth. If you desire a husband, he will send opportunities your way. And the church is a great place to watch these possibilities unfold!
Psalm 37:4 says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
Suppose you’re uncertain about going forward with a relationship. You can always seek the advice of the Counselor, the Holy Spirit. Bring your concerns, desires, or reservations to Him, and then sit back and listen for His voice. He will guide you! He will show you the right man when he comes your way!
Sign #4: You Realize Your Child Needs a Father’s Influence
The Lord loves fatherhood. His design for the family is one where a father and a mother raise the family together. The man and the woman bring their unique role and God-given skill set to ensure that children grow up loving the Lord and the people around them.
You’ll know that God is leading you to marry again when you recognize that your children need the influence of a father, and they need it now! While there’s something to be said for the good influences of men from the church, like a youth leader or a mentor, nothing beats God’s original design. A godly man, married to the child’s mom and living in the home.
It can be tricky, though, finding a godly man willing to have a relationship with you and navigate a relationship with your children. It’s essential to seek a relationship with someone emotionally mature enough to be up to the task. An ideal husband would also be someone who leans into the Lord for the strength he needs to take care of the family physically, financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
A good candidate for marriage would be a man who embodies the principles stated in 1 Corinthians. This man would put the needs of a new family above his own, is patient with the already-established dynamics of your family, and is kind to your children who might still be struggling emotionally from a divorce or from living in a fatherless home.
“The God Who Sees Me”
As a single Christian mom, there are times when you might feel forgotten, unappreciated, or utterly alone as you raise your family without a father. But know that we serve a God who sees us. He sees our hurt and our struggles. He meets us where we are, and His Holy Spirit helps to guide us along life’s path.
Related: Dear Single Mom, God Sees You
What does the Bible say about single mothers? Look at Hagar from the Book of Genesis, the first single parent mentioned in the Bible. If you’re unfamiliar with Hagar, you can read more of her story in Genesis 16 and 21.
In Genesis 16, Hagar was the maidservant of Abraham and gave birth to his first son Ishmael. Abraham had difficulty believing in God’s promise of a son with his wife, Sarah, who was barren. So he slept with Hagar to make God’s plan happen. As you can imagine, some dysfunctional family dynamics came into play that caused Hagar a lot of distress. But when she drew near to God in her loneliness and grief, He drew near to her!
Genesis 16:31 says, “She gave this name to the Lord who spoke to her: ‘You are the God who sees me,’ for she said, ‘I have now seen the One who sees me.'”
The Lord sees you.
You’re still remembered. You’re not unloved. You’re His precious daughter, and He knows the desires of your heart to marry again. He wants you to live life abundantly. He will meet you right where you are! Keep leaning into Him and His Holy Spirit.