How do we parent our teenagers when we feel like we’re living in the middle of the chaos? A developmental psychologist and family coach gives advice on how to build strong, positive relationships with our teens.
Below is an overview of my interview with Dr Cam about parenting our teens in the middle of chaos. For the full conversation, listen to episode #26 on Grace for Single Parents wherever you listen to podcasts.
tips for Parenting a Teen in a Chaotic World
When a Teen acts out
- Teens act out because they feel misunderstood and they feel misunderstood because they are misunderstood.
- Listening is the most important communication skill we can have. I talk to a lot of teenagers and they feel like their parents just don’t listen to them anymore. We correct, we criticize, we lecture, we nag. We don’t actually have communication and conversation with them.
When a Teen Argues With You
- Let your child argue their point. There’s a difference between fighting and arguing. The biggest difference is the emotional piece of it.
- Kids who learn to argue successfully with their families and with their parents are actually more able to withstand peer pressure. They’re more confident as kids cause they’ll stand up for themselves.
- Parents need to stay calm. If we go into something emotional, they’re only going to react emotionally. They don’t really have a choice (the teen brain is still developing). And so it becomes this power struggle, an emotional battle.
Apologizing to Our Kids
- Parents are very afraid to do is apologize to their kids. Apologizing to our kids is such an enormous way to build a community, build communication and build that connection.
Teens and Their Phones
- Ask your teen to teach you something. If they love video games, say, Hey, can you teach me how to do the video game you love?
- Being online is how teens socialize. It’s different from the way we did it. So we don’t understand it. We worry about it. We worry about the impact. It’s like how our parents were worried about how much TV we watched.
- My concern more is what they’re doing on it, not necessarily that they’re on it.
- The problem with tech software to restrict phone usage is they’re going to always find ways around that. What we do need to do is help them learn how to make smart, smart decisions on it. And who to avoid, what information you don’t put on there. Just being smart.
The above information was an overview of my interview with Dr Cam about parenting our teens in the middle of chaos. For the full conversation, listen to episode #26 on Grace for Single Parents wherever you listen to podcasts.
Where to find Dr. Cam
Cameron (Dr. Cam) Caswell, PhD is a developmental psychologist, family coach, teen expert, certified professional success coach (CPSC), author, and inspirational speaker. She is on a mission to help parents build strong, positive relationships with their teens through improved communication, connection, and understanding. Dr. Cam is a mom of a teen too, so she not only talks the talk, she walks the walk!
- Website: www.drcamconsulting.com