How do you let things go that stress you out? This article explores two concepts to help you let go of 90 things in the next 90 days.
Do You Need to Let Things Go?
If you feel anxious and tired over trying to fix something that is outside of you, most likely, you’re struggling with control and need to let it go.
As hard as it is to remember, we only have control of ourselves and our reactions. That’s why learning to let the little things go can have such a massive impact on your peace of mind.
But the question is, how?
How to Let Things Go
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Concept 1: Practicing Failure
In a podcast with Tim Ferriss, I first heard about practicing failure.
He credited practicing failure as one of the reasons he is so successful. He said daily he tries to experience failure in the little things, so when a more significant failure comes, he is not set back.
For example, every day, ask a stranger for something about which you expect to get a “no” response. Ask a stranger for a dollar, or if they want a piece of gum, etc. You will be expecting a “no” answer so it won’t bother you, but it will condition your brain to hear the word no.
The theory goes, you’ll condition yourself to receive a negative response that when don’t get the raise you expected, you won’t be living in a “yes” world and won’t take it so hard.
In his book The 4-Hour Work Week, he takes it to a more significant extreme of calling celebrities every single day.
You can apply this concept to multiple life lessons.
If you’re struggling to let go of big hangups in life, why not try letting go of the little things?
Concept 2: Desensitizing
Another idea worth considering is “desensitizing.”
Recently we brought home a new puppy. She hated having her hair brushed; she’d bite at the brush the whole time.
The trainer introduced us to “desensitizing” our dog to the brush.
We’d put the brush on her back and rest it there, let her sniff it, show her it wouldn’t hurt her. Then when she was comfortable with that, we’d move to brush a small patch of fur in one spot and lasted for less than one minute.
It gradually grew to be so we could brush her whole body. But it took time until we could desensitize her to the feel and sound of the brush.
We can desensitize ourselves to new experiences when learning new things.
Putting the two together to let things go
Desensitizing and practicing failure go hand in hand.
While you learn to let go of the little things in preparation for the big stuff, you are also desensitizing yourself to having control of every little thing in your world.
90 Day Challenge to Let Things Go
How to get started incorporating these concepts into your life to help you let things go?
Challenge yourself for 90 days to let go of something every single day.
It didn’t have to be big, and it shouldn’t be. Get into the practice of letting go of small things so that you can become desensitized to the process.
What to let go of?
What you practice letting go of will differ from person to person.
Traffic may bother you, and letting someone cut in front of you and not getting upset may count for you. Someone else may not care about traffic.
Suggestions for things to Let Go
- Intentionally miss a meeting.
- Let a stranger correct your child’s behavior or make a comment for which you don’t respond.
- Ignore an email that appears to need a response.
- Let the kids eat whatever for dinner.
- Ignore the dishes for a day longer than is comfortable for you.
- If someone makes a response you feel annoyed by, try just to let it go, forgive and forget.
- Don’t respond to a text.
- Which self-imposed deadlines do you have on yourself? From work to home chores to ones you put on your children? Let one go.
- Forgive someone without explaining your side.
- Let your kids argue without stepping in.
Each day as something comes up, ask yourself if you can let it go. This daily practice is in preparation to begin to allow the big things go naturally.
10 Things Everyone Should Strive to Let Go
So What About You?
Can you let something go every day for 90 days?
Make a list on your phone of what you let go of each day.
Somedays, you may get upset over something that happened, then you can stop and say, “That’s ok; I’m gonna let that go today.”
Other days, you may be able to intentionally let a specific hangup go.
All the while, knowing you are practicing freeing yourself up for the bigger picture.