Single Mama, You Deserve a Break: Here’s How
As a single mom you’re handling double of everything but there comes a time you need a break before you hit a breaking point. This isn’t about self-care, it’s about managing your life, emotions, and self. Here are 3 things you can take a break from today.
Are you giving yourself a break?
The demands of being a single mom are TOUGH.
Are you giving yourself a break? I don’t mean self-care…although that’s important too.
I mean a break from the daily demands of single motherhood. If no one has told you lately, it’s okay to let something go and take a break.
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Jesus invites each of us to break. He tells us in Matthew to come to Him and find rest for our souls.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”Matthew 11:28-30
Take a break from…
Expectations – the ones you put on yourself to be both mom and dad for your kids.
It can be heartbreaking to watch your child’s father miss opportunities to spend time with your kids, let your children down, or watch your child cry when their father lets them down again.
When this happens, our mothering instinct takes over, and we try to be both mom and dad to our kids. But no matter how hard we try, we can’t replace their father.
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But the good news is we can stop putting this expectation on ourselves to being mom and dad for our kids. It’s exhausting, and it’s not helping. No one else expects us to do this, and our children will grow up to be more than okay with one amazing mom who loves them unconditionally.
The obligations for the adult in a single-parent household are double. So how can we rest from these duties without letting the household fall apart?
First, acknowledge you can’t do everything and decide what you will let go of, then forever give yourself grace in this area.
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For example, I skip family dinners. You can talk to me for 8 hours about the importance of a family dinner, and I won’t feel an iota of guilt over this. Something has to give.
I could give you a list of other responsibilities that go against the “experts” that I’ve let go of and decided to give myself grace instead.
Because here’s the deal: our single-parent family won’t look the same as two-parent families. We have to quit comparing ourselves and be okay with it.
Unforgiveness and bitterness are where a lot of single moms get stuck.
It’s understandable as many of us are raising little ones either by ourselves or with no financial, emotional, or daily practical help from the child’s other parent.
But living in a sea of bitterness hurts you more than anyone else.
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It is a biblical concept to let it go.
Paul, the writer of the majority of the New Testament, tells us in Philippians 3: 13,
“I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead.”
If you struggle in this area (and many of us do), try praying every day that God would remove the roots of bitterness and unforgiveness from your heart.
The book, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst is helpful on this subject if you want to read more.