What books to Read when Recovering From a Relationship
13 books to read when you’re recovering from a relationship and you feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself and you need time to heal. Whether the breakup was your idea or not, sometimes you need help getting back on track. Try one of these books.
Whether you’re coming out of a toxic relationship or a healthy relationship, you’re going to need time to heal.
Most of us lose a part of ourselves when we’re in a relationship. Whether that connection resulted in a marriage or not, heartbreak is natural whether it was your decision or not.
Related: How to Get Unstuck After Your Divorce
Many of us find the issues we’ve had in relationships are repeating again and again. Suppose you want to figure out why and finally heal yourself before jumping into another dysfunctional relationship where you might actually be half the problem (!).
So, how do you find yourself again without spending loads of time and money on therapy? For many of us, therapy is an excellent answer, but many can’t afford it.
Related: How Childhood Trauma Affects Our Relationships
Thankfully, there are many books written by excellent therapists and counselors available to help you get your life back together after the breakup of a relationship if you’re willing to do the work.
Here are the top 13 books to read when recovering from a breakup.
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Are You Really OK? By Debra Fileta
Licensed counselor Debra Fileta has a popular podcast (Love + Relationships) and website called “True Love Dates” and in this books she guides the reader through a series of hard questions designed to help you assess all your relationships.
Keep Your Love On by Danny Silk
“Keep Your Love On” helps the reader learn how to love like Jesus by drawing healthy boundaries, communicate in love, and protecting connections, so you can love against all odds.
We: A Manifesto for Women Everywhere by Gillian Anderson and Jennifer Nadel
This book covers 9 principals that walk you through exercises that the authors call their “manifesto.” If you’ve neglected yourself in the area of self-care or been involved in a relationship where your partner hasn’t valued you, these principals will help you find your path towards healing and self-acceptance.
Related: Is it time to start dating again? Here’s how to find out
Living Unbroken: Reclaiming Your Life and Your Heart after Divorce by Tracie Miles
After walking through her own divorce, Tracie Miles gives step by step advice on how to Biblically overcome the emotional toll of divorce and separation. She provides actionable steps at the end of each chapter to begin living your best life in your new normal and providing the hope and encouragement you need to start again.
How to Do the Work: Recognize Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self by Dr. Nicole LePera
If you feel like you’ve been repeating patterns, the “holistic psychologist” steps you through how to dig back into your past to uncover trauma and move forward through self-healing.
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie
If I could pick one book for healing after a relationship, it would be this one. Most of us think of codependents as relating to alcoholism. And this book is on the top sellers in the 12 step program and Alcoholism Recovery. But you don’t need to be an addict of any kind to struggle in this area. Many of us, especially those of us who have come out of toxic relationships, will find we relate to this book in a BIG way.
Soul Care: 7 Transformational Principles for a Healthy Soul by Dr. Rob Reimer
Soul Care explores seven healing tools of God: securing your identity, repentance, breaking family sin patterns, forgiving others, healing wounds, overcoming fears, and deliverance. This book is great for healing and solidifying who we are in Christ.
Related: How to Know If You Are in a Toxic Relationship
Safe People: How to Find Relationships that are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t by Henry Cloud
This book is for if you’ve ever been in a relationship where you were used, abused, or abandoned. You’ll learn how to avoid repeating your own mistakes and how to pick safe, healthy people going forward.
The Dream of You: Let Go of Broken Identities and Live the Life You Were Made For by Jo Saxton
In the “Dream of You”, the author challenges you to consider what you’ve allowed to define you in your life and to imagine what life could be like moving forward.
She’s Still There: Rescuing the Girl in You by Chrystal Evans Hurst
Told through multiple personal stories, this book offers encouragement for anyone facing trials both big and small. Chrystal offers words of inspiration and how to get back on track and dig deeper at the end of each chapter. The best part of this book is that it can be read in small spurts and impactful on your life without overwhelming you.
The Unseen Companion: God With the Single Mother by Michelle Lynn Senters
Perfect for the single mom, this book explores the ten needs every single mother has and asks, “God, where are you in this?”
Relationship Goals: How to Win at Dating, Marriage, and Sex by Michael Todd
This book is written by Pastor Mike Todd of Transformation Church. He has a popular series on YouTube that is based around a sermon series of the same name. Relationship Goals help you align your longings with God’s desires for your life.
Relational Intelligence: The People Skills You Need for the Life of Purpose You Want by Dr. Dharius Daniels
“Relationships were God’s idea and when we understand and apply what God has to say about them we end up avoiding unnecessary relational turmoil, advancing in all areas of our life, and accomplishing our God-given purpose.” This book uses Jesus’s life as a model for our relationships.