Do you ever feel like you aren’t the best mom for your kids? Maybe God made a mistake? No better mom for the job author talks to me about parenting when you don’t feel up to the task, how to avoid falling into friendship traps and praying for your friends.
Below is an overview of my interview with Becky about how you are the best mom for your child. For the complete conversation listen to episode #18 of Grace for Single Parents wherever you listen to podcasts.
God Didn’t Make a Mistake: You Are the Best Mom for Your kids
- No matter how we came to motherhood by birth or adoption or fostering or even marriage that God has a plan and a purpose for us in our lives and in our motherhood.
- I really questioned God, did you make a mistake in making me these kids’ mom?
- Especially with my oldest, I just felt so not a match or that there was something wrong with him or something wrong with me. But I was pretty convinced that another mom would do a better job in my shoes.
- And so the book is really about that journey about all the different things that can cause us to feel inadequate as moms, and our deep need for the Lord and to rely on God’s, what I call his fierce witness.
God Walking Alongside Us in Motherhood
- God never leaves us even when we feel like we don’t know how to do this motherhood thing. God wants to meet us in the thick of motherhood and assure us that he didn’t make a mistake and he does have that plan of purpose for our life and our motherhood.
- I often think about the image of whether it’s motherhood or anything in our lives, but when God opens a door for you to become a mom and whatever way that happened and God’s having to open a door and then push us through and slam it behind us and be like, good luck. No, like that’s not his character. He goes with us.
- When things are more than we can handle, we know that we don’t handle it alone and he is committed to loving us and loving our kids, and equipping us to be the exact mom that they need.
Friendship and Motherhood
- I was surprised by how alone and isolated I felt in motherhood.
- And so for years, I thought I was trying to cultivate meaningful friendships, but what I realized, is there were certain false thinking that crept in.
- Things like everyone else already have their friendship plate full. We have this false perception that we think that everyone else already has their friendship plate full. There’s no room for us.
- And that’s just not the truth. I have yet to meet a woman who doesn’t long for deeper friendships in her life.
- Other false thinking can be if you are new like I moved to a new city when my first was six months old and I would step into these new situations. But I had this thinking of “well I’m new”, so other people should come to me, they should initiate with me.
- And if you want friendships start by being the friend you long to have. That’s really what the Lord impressed on my heart.
- Or even other things. Like we can feel like I’m too fill in the blank. I’m too much, I’m too loud, I’m too noisy, I’m too quiet, I’m too shy, I’m too awkward. You know, we all have these false things that we believe about ourselves.
- And for me, you know, especially when my kids were little, it was like I am too much like these three little boys, three and under. We are a lot and we’re going to be okay too much for anyone else to handle. And the Lord showed me was maybe we were too much for some people, but that that wasn’t a blanket truth.
- And so you know, to identify those things that maybe are keeping us from really initiating or being open to friendship and root out that false thinking.
Praying for Others in the Moment
- Pray for your friends on the spot.
- Embrace the awkward, just embrace it. Like it’s going to feel awkward. Don’t wait till you think, Oh, I’m not spiritual enough or I’m don’t have the right words.
- Such a gift to not wait till later and maybe the prayer would slip your mind. But to show you care enough at that moment.
- I can text back a prayer.
- I don’t know that it really gets easier. I still kind of had that heart-thumping experience of like when someone is sharing something and I just, I’ve learned to feel the Spirit’s prompting that I know that I’m supposed to just say like, Hey, let’s pray about that right now.
- But I never, I never regret it. And even if I, it’s just simple like God, like I don’t know what to pray, but you know Jen’s circumstances would you come and intervene right now and let her know that you are. Amen. Like, you know, it’s been really, really meaningful in my life.
- I don’t think that we can ever regret stepping into someone’s pain or sorrow or heartache and just to know that not only does someone else see you, but that they care enough to want to help you take it to the throne room of God and trust your cares and burdens to the one who really can make a difference.
When You Feel Inadequate as a Mom
- You don’t have to wait to feel adequate. You can just look to God’s word. It’s really his lifeline, that his word is the greatest lifeline that we have.
- If you’re feeling like, I’m just not cut out for this, I think someone else would do a better job in my shoes. Look at God’s word. See what he has to say about you. See what he has to say about his plan for you, his character, his goodness. I love in his word where he says, be strong and courageous. I will never leave you or forsake you.
- And more than anything in my life, motherhood has required strength and courage.
- God sees you today. He is with you fiercely and that he did not make a mistake in making you the mom of your kids.
This was an overview of my interview with Becky about how you are the best mom for your child. For the complete conversation listen to episode #18 of Grace for Single Parents wherever you listen to podcasts.