7 Reasons Why I Hate the Label Single Mom
Here are seven common stereotypes about single moms and why we need to quit believing them and saying them. As a single mom myself for 10 years I can attest most of these stereotypes aren’t true.
As a single mom myself for almost ten years, I’ve seen my children’s transformation from childhood into the teen years. I’ve also experienced first hand the effects of growing up in a single-parent family.
I never considered my mom a single mom while growing up and, for years, never thought of myself as one. However, there have been times when my marital status has been questioned, and it’s in those times I’ve experienced first hand the labels society has put on us.
Related: The Shame of Being a Single Mom in the Church
The term “broken family” is one that needs to be retired. Families shouldn’t be labeled as a broken family simply because one parent is absent.
Society needs to stop using such damaging language. Single-parent families are every bit as whole and complete as two-parent families.
Sometimes more so. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.
So let’s quit labeling single-parent families. And let’s start affirming the single moms and dads as loving, healthy, and complete.
Related: Resources and Programs Available for Single Mothers
7 stereotypes I’m tired of hearing about Single Moms
1. Everyone assumes single moms are living on low-income assistance
While it’s true that a single mother is typically living on one income to support herself and her children, it doesn’t mean she’s living on welfare.
Many single moms are working more than one job, have a side hustle, or have high pay jobs that allow them to provide for their children.
Related: Yes, You Can! How to Save Money as a Single Mom
2. Single Moms and Married Moms Can Still Be Friends
I don’t identify as “single” first and foremost. I’m a mom just like you. I don’t spend my evenings swiping left or right or begging people on social media to watch my kids so I can go out clubbing.
Count me out for double dates or a couples weekend, but as long as you have a life outside of your husband, then I may be the friend you’ve been looking for.
Single moms value family, faith, and friends just like married moms.
Related: Can Single Moms and Married Moms be Friends?
3. There’s Not Always Drama With the Ex
Not all single moms have a terrible relationship with their ex. Some of us ended our last marriage amicably. There’s no drama, and our ex is still a decent guy, and the father is involved with his children. Sorry to disappoint you.
4. We’re Not All Looking for a Hook-Up
Not all single moms are looking for a hook-up or their next boyfriend or someone to take care of them.
I know quite a few single moms, and while some wish to remarry and are on dating apps or ask their married friends to keep them in mind, many are focused on providing for their kids and running the race set out before them.
Related: 7 Lies Single Moms Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free
I have months where I struggle financially; it’s true. But so do lots of married couples. This doesn’t mean I’m looking for a sugar daddy.
5. Single Moms Aren’t Bitter
Single moms aren’t mad at the world because we have to raise our kids alone or because our partner left us.
We don’t resent married couples who are hopelessly in love. We all don’t hate our exes or sit around and talk badly about our ex to our girlfriends and throw fights to entertain the neighborhood.
Related: How to Stop Bad-Mouthing Your Ex – With Free Printables
The majority of us have hope for love and in the future. We can’t wait until our kids grow up and have a marriage that lasts their lifetime. Many of us embrace our ex’s new wife, and we pray she loves our children.
Why would we hope and dream of anything less?
I think this stereotype comes about because immediately after a breakup, a woman might be upset or sad, and the man makes a big deal out of it for his ego.
6. Children from Single Moms Don’t “Act Out”
Children don’t act out as a result of living in a single-parent family. Children exhibit emotional behavior when they have denied or suppressed feelings.
7. Single Parent families aren’t “broken”
My family isn’t any less of a family than the family down the street with a mom, dad, and two kids in the same house.
The brokenness that affects children into their adulthood is how parents handle and model situations. A married couple that spews hatred with fighting, abuse, or alcoholism is not more whole or more of a family because they are married.