The Internal Dialogue of Single Moms: Change How You Talk To Yourself
If you’re a single mom, you know how hard it can be to keep your head high and stay positive. Between juggling work, parenting, and household responsibilities, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed and discouraged. One of the biggest obstacles we face is our internal dialogue–the way we talk to ourselves.
Our inner voice can be incredibly damaging, making us feel ashamed, guilty, and unworthy. Negative self-talk can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and insecurity.
Negative self-talk is common, but it’s not helpful. And you CAN overcome it.
You can change the way you talk to yourself so that you can start feeling empowered and stronger than ever before!
The different voices we use in our head
The negative voices in our heads are classified into self-doubt, self-judgment, and self-criticism. The different voices in your head can be a huge distraction, and it’s essential to identify how you’re talking to yourself.
Start with just paying attention to how you feel about something, rather than getting lost in everyone else’s opinions or emotions associated with the situation.
Related: How to Deal With Anxiety and Not Affect Your Child
How to tell if your internal dialogue is healthy or not
We all have a voice in our head that occasionally coaches us through life. Unfortunately, this internal speaker can sometimes be harmful, critical, or judgmental of ourselves when we do not feel good about who we are and what has happened to us.
Many people don’t realize how important it is for this “inner-self” talker (a term popularized by Nobel Prize winner Dr. Jack Canfield) to work with them instead of against themselves.
Just because something isn’t said aloud doesn’t mean the words are any less harmful.
Related: How To Use Morning Affirmations to Change Your Day
Your self-talk becomes unhealthy when:
- You are constantly putting yourself down or being self-critical
- You are only focused on the negative aspects of a situation
- You compare yourself to others in a negative light
- You dwell on past failures or mistakes
- You constantly replay a shameful or embarrassing event in your head
How to change your self-talk from negative to positive
The first step is to become aware of the negative thoughts running through your head. Once you’re able to identify them, you can start to challenge and reframe them. Here are some tips:
Replace “should” with “could”
For example, “I should be a better mom” can become “I could be a better mom.” This small change will help you feel more in control and less resentful.
Related: How to Stop Obsessive Thoughts in Their Tracks: Causes and Solutions
Identify your self-limiting beliefs
These are the negative thoughts that hold you back from achieving your goals. Once you identify them, you can start to challenge and reframe them.
Focus on the present moment
One of the best ways to stop negative self-talk is to focus on the present moment. When you’re caught up in your head, it’s easy to dwell on past failures or worry about the future. But if you can focus on the here and now, you’ll be better able to silence the negative voices in your head.
Related: 24 Uplifting Affirmations – Who God Says You Are
Beating yourself up will only make you feel worse. Instead, try to treat yourself with the same kindness and compassion you would extend to a friend.
If you’re used to negatively talking to yourself, it can be hard to start thinking positive thoughts suddenly. So take it slow and start with minor changes. Over time, you’ll be able to make a more significant shift in your self-talk.
Related: 10 Lessons I’ve Learned As A Single Mom For 10 Years
One of the best ways to reduce these harmful thoughts is to practice mindfulness. Mindfulness means being aware of your thoughts and feelings in the present moment, without judgment.
Are you constantly putting yourself down or worrying about things that haven’t happened? Mindfulness can help you become more aware of these negative thought patterns and learn to let them go.
Related: Intentional Motherhood: Who Said It Would Be Easy?
Instead, focus on the present moment and what you can do to improve it. For example, breathe deeply and focus on the sensation of your breath going in and out. Notice the sounds around you, the feel of your clothes against your skin, and the room’s temperature. Allowing yourself to be present at the moment can help reduce stress and increase your overall well-being.
Resources for further reading and exploration
Several books can help explore the topic of self-talk. My favorite way is to repeat affirmations and learn to have the mind of Christ as you believe His promises.
Grab these free affirmations in Christ here.
“The Feeling Good Handbook” by David D. Burns
“How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything” by Albert Ellis
“What to Say When You Talk to Your Self” by Shad Helmstetter
“The Power Of Positive Thinking: A Self-Help Guide on How to Overcome Negativity, Adversity, Depression and Change Your Life” by Michael Dyer
In addition, many articles and blog posts offer helpful advice on improving self-talk. Some of these resources are listed below:
How to Use Positive Self-Talk for Anxiety Relief
9 Ways to Silence Your Inner Critic
You can change the way you talk to yourself!
It’s important to be aware of your self-talk and how it’s affecting you. For example, if your self-talk is negative, try reframing your thoughts in a more positive light. And remember, it’s okay to start small. Just making a few small changes.
These are all great tips, but it can be challenging to implement them on your own. If you’re struggling to change the way you talk to yourself, consider working with a coach or therapist who can help you identify and reframe your self-limiting beliefs. With the right support, you can start to feel better about yourself and your place in the world.